Chat with My Mother: Overcoming a Turbulent Past and Generational Trauma

Growing up amidst the chaos of the 80s drug epidemic, my mother faced a life filled with unimaginable challenges. What does it take to not just survive, but to build a future for your family against such odds? Join us in this heartfelt episode of "15 Minutes with Dad" as my mother opens up about her journey from a crime-ridden environment to becoming a young mother at 14, and the resilience that defined her path. Her story is not just one of survival, but of tremendous courage and strength, shaping both her life and mine.

We delve into the complexities of childhood trauma and its enduring impact on mental health and self-worth. My mother recounts her tumultuous early years, marked by teenage pregnancy and familial instability, and the absence of a reliable support system. Her narrative touches on themes of abandonment and resilience, providing a raw insight into how a chaotic upbringing can shape one's sense of love and support. This segment underscores the long-term emotional effects that stem from such early life experiences, revealing the underlying struggles many face but few discuss.

The journey towards reconciliation and healing from trauma is fraught with challenges, but it's a path worth taking. In a deeply personal recount, I reflect on the strained relationship with my mother, fraught with feelings of neglect and unresolved resentment. We explore significant and traumatic moments from my childhood, shedding light on the importance of understanding and healing from generational wounds. By sharing our stories, we hope to inspire listeners to confront their own pasts and embark on a journey of personal growth and resilience. Don't forget to join our community on Patreon for more intimate conversations and support.

Chapters

• 0:00 Healing Generational Family Trauma
• 5:52 Family Impact and Childhood Trauma
• 16:39 Reconciliation and Trauma Healing
• 29:33 Healing Through Personal Reflection
• 34:16 Join Our Community on Patreon

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:40

Hey, what's going on? You guys, welcome to 15 Minutes with Dan, but we support Connected and Powered Fathers all around the globe. I am your host, larry, and this is another episode of the Healing Series. Today I am healing with a very special person, a mother, a mother, a mother, a mother, a mother, a to get into a deep conversation surrounded around healing family love, and we're going to hear my mother's story for the first time. So a lot of this I'm going to hear for the very first time, along with you guys. So you're going to see my very raw reactions, but make sure that you like, subscribe and share this with anybody you feel would enjoy this video. Let's get into it.

Speaker 1: 1:31

Welcome back to 15 Minutes with Dad. I have here my beautiful mom and we're going to get into some healing. Are you ready? This is your first time.

Speaker 1: 1:55

Yeah, this is your first time telling the story to her. Yeah, Just like I'm going to tell it to the world. Really, Give it to you all. The reason why I wanted to bring my mother on because a part of her healing is also my healing as we work through these generational things that has taken place from her parents, my grandparents, and how it impacted me as well. So her healing is also part of my healing, and so I thought we'd do it together and have a really beautiful conversation about it. Let's do it, yeah. So where do we start? Let's start from a foundational point From when I was a baby. You have me at about 14. Lay out that foundation.

Speaker 2: 2:55

Lay out that foundation, Lay out that environment. Okay, I didn't want to fight. I had hands on me. Shortly after that I was free to leave, but it was for me. I don't know if it was just like the best of my strength, because I never. For me, you got normal bags, like while I'm saving some saliva, or. But when I knew that I went to the table, I really did that.

Speaker 1: 3:32

I would crush somebody else, yeah so that's to clarify for those who aren't of the diaspora, let me explain. There was a period of time back in the 80s there was crime was thrown, or coke was thrown into black and brown neighborhoods and essentially the hope was that there it was when we were going to, you know, have duns, and we were going to kill ourselves, get drugged up, kill ourselves. But it backfired on the government as a whole and there were some people that were users and then there were some people that were using it to come up with and so our family had a split of the two. So when it comes to, you said, like grandma was on it and heavily using it and everything that comes along with someone who's using it was an experience that you grew up with and you were dealing with that from an early age, right, because I know you were the only child and you were the only child.

Speaker 2: 4:42

So I am about to share all of it. I just it's a pretty sad.

Speaker 1: 4:48

I just got through, Just got through, yeah, the day-to-day kind of thing.

Speaker 2: 4:53

Yeah. Then it became like a lifestyle, so where, okay, I got to make some money, I got two kids. Now I'm still not over his job.

Speaker 1: 5:04

I got to make him. There was people just giving you stuff to do stuff with.

Speaker 2: 5:08

There was people that were teaching me things. It was. I wouldn't say they were giving me anything, because at that time your dad was in the streets. I didn't really have to do anything too much once. I met your dad because he took care of us. But once he was in jail for a day and he went to jail but left me and you had a wait at 16. And he was the child of my mother to have James born.

Speaker 1: 5:52

So that was like. So, by the age of 16, you had three children and you had Tony. We recalculated you had 13 and you had to turn 14. Right after the hours. Yeah, my dad had 13, my baby, and so you got turned 14 right after the owls. Yeah, my back broke.

Speaker 2: 6:05

I had 13 and my back broke.

Speaker 1: 6:08

And so you got pregnant at 12?.

Speaker 2: 6:10

Yeah, no, no, I mean, it took one year.

Speaker 1: 6:16

Oh, it was the 9th holiday. It was before that. It was in something Skin school and stuff. I turned 13.

Speaker 2: 6:21

Yeah, Doing everything I'm supposed to be doing.

Speaker 1: 6:25

And I told you that in a whole other story. I don't even want to get into that, yeah, but I had a baby daddy in middle school.

Speaker 2: 6:34

I had a baby daddy that was 18 years old.

Speaker 1: 6:37

A grown man. He was wealthy and there was. I only have pieces of stories in my head, so that's why I'm guiding. So essentially, that was drugs, alcohol surrounding your life.

Speaker 2: 6:53

You're trying to figure out a way to survive as a teenager, no guidance but coming up honestly, when I was coming up younger, my mom was in public, dad was in public, grandfather was when. I was coming up younger. My mom was in the home. Yeah, dad was in the home. Yeah, grandfather was in the home. Grandma was in the home. Yeah, it was like yeah, it was. Everybody was drinking.

Speaker 1: 7:16

Everybody was drinking, Nobody really nobody to the time.

Speaker 2: 7:23

I had a couple of ane's from out there. Oh, I knew that trauma and abuse was my mom. When I was in school I had to manage for y'all and that kind of stuff. I had a couple of ane's that would stay with me. Okay, well, let them stay with me for a while, but stay with them for a little bit. They would stay with my dad and my mom, my dad's there. It was just like Wow, so they wasn't giving me the social. Yeah, I didn't stay out of the stain, I didn't. It was like she was a girl.

Speaker 2: 7:55

She was a girl. She was respectful Because through all of it, I was still respectful. Right, I'm still respectful, but no, I can't call it a curse. I never had a college conversation.

Speaker 1: 8:08

Right, and then to keep diving on how that impact because I've been talking about borderline personality disorder, like all these different terminology throughout the podcast, and like mental health. Essentially, you felt a sense of abandonment from not being able to take care of the people that are birthing and at that age it could resonate as anything. It could resonate as oh, I'm worthless, I'm not lovable.

Speaker 2: 8:36

And then he's crazy because he didn't do that to me.

Speaker 1: 8:38

What did he do?

Speaker 2: 8:40

He made me feel like that. I paid a lot of attention and I just immediately learned that that's a case you got to make sure you're okay, because the people that are supposed to make sure you're okay, they're doing their own lives and they're not even making sure that they're okay. But around that time my dad he was my dad. I was growing up. My mom was married to a girl who was growing up, so he was on the street like I'm still in the cabin.

Speaker 1: 9:18

I was drunk, so he would come, but he would just, I never had him.

Speaker 2: 9:19

There were some people together yeah, some people together and while we were fighting he broke his hand. The fight became unfair and they wanted to meet. Okay, yeah, but you will be honest, and today we're waiting. Everybody is today. I'm surprised. Today they were abused.

Speaker 1: 9:46

I don't think so.

Speaker 2: 9:47

They were not covered in, don't think so. They lived in that cover.

Speaker 1: 9:49

Same club, they all I realized this over time, when you were waiting out for death, I started to think the reason why the mom that I have today is the mom that I have today? Because we got all these thoughts. We have all these people that you said love you. I say that they care about you, love you, give you some. They all wanted something in return from it and at some point you became so used to it that it was like alright, so what you want, what is?

Speaker 1: 10:20

it is what most money, yeah and I'm not trying to tell you. I'm not trying to tell you a story. I said I had resentment for a lot of my life and it wasn't because of what you did, it was because of you weren't here and I told Shrey something. Two days ago. I told Shrey something that blew my mind because I was like, oh crap, he was like how. Because I was like oh crap, he was like how. I said, because I've heard stuff like you tell all the time I really do and I was like looking at all these different members of different events that took place and Trace was like how. He was like he did what best. He doesn't know much about me with us.

Speaker 1: 11:05

I was in a very short but I told him I was like you had Liz to come for you whenever something got better, if Grandma Trace would come for you and support you, make sure nothing happens to you. But I was like no one had an appetite for it, an abacus, it was just her. Whatever she was able to give me, it was a heap of dope for there, like the abuse that I received from her. It was accepting and so the impact of her abuse against me was different than them, because they were protected. It's not like Robin Farron hey, look what you did to your life. Why didn't you treat me? These kids like that were for me.

Speaker 1: 11:46

I didn't feel that for a huge part of my life. I don't think I felt it until probably back in Houston. And that's not to say that you're virtual fluency or anything, but that's the thing that I felt. I was impacted so much from where I was. I didn't have anybody. I'm accepting this so much from where he is and I didn't have anybody in the humanities. I'm accepting CPS when teachers will call CPS. Now we watch our teachers call CPS and we're seeing one system. Who's that Mom?

Speaker 1: 12:18

But let's get back to it. So I made the connection. How you see, when they grew up up here and connected me to like oh, I got you.

Speaker 2: 12:32

Sorry, like my dad. Oh yeah, I got you, I got you. I got you, I got you. Oh my God, I was being job of my dad. I said before you get here, your daddy got you. Yeah, right, that's true. Follow me right now. That's your baby daddy.

Speaker 1: 12:48

You're right, that's true I don't want to leave him.

Speaker 1: 12:50

Do you hear me? Why are you mad at me? That's why, like everything, she buried it from her childhood. And I don't know if you've heard, but she was perfect in my mind, even though I went through all that, all the way through the years that she passed. The years that she passed, she was absolutely perfect. But then I started asking questions to all the different people that interacted with me in the early years before I came around and I started really learning who she was. That's what kind of sent me on the journey of that process. She was a boy.

Speaker 2: 13:22

She was a boy during me when I said, oh, she can't do it, jump out of the pool. She be dancing, she can't do. Jump out the pool, she be dancing, she be laughing, she just jamming. I'd be so happy. I know this woman's here. She gonna be able to take me to the movies, take me to James Goldie Island and to the Metropolitan downtown. And she's got her clothes tailored, made and she's the model and stuff right. So she's got clothes and we go to the tailor. I'm sitting there watching her get her clothes and then I brought it in and I'm like I'm going to be out there with my mom.

Speaker 2: 13:54

So it was just moments. And then the different relationships that I had with her with them different relationships, you know, whatever it tripped on me, because it's a lot of things that I've seen that I've been able to report now that I've been lost, I've been the same thing. It is normal for me and all the men around me in different houses, in different states. They're tired of moving. Just move me out of place. It's a hell of a shit moment.

Speaker 2: 14:28

Oh my gosh. Every year, every year. But for me it was a moment. It never bothered me because that's all I could do. I went to over 15. It went crazy.

Speaker 1: 14:40

I knew it was crazy and I was involved. When she was in eighth grade I knew that was it. That's when I stopped doing the movement. I stayed in Vegas. I stayed in Vegas because in ninth grade I went to Ford in my high school. It was because I was going to grandma and I moved with you and then I moved to that school and then you moved and I went to the school with all that. So let's dive deeper into it, because I know you've been hurt and what is one of the most traumatic experiences that you believe that or that you've had in your life and I know it's quite big, because you've had the most, whether the most memorable or most painful or the trauma that you experienced.

Speaker 2: 15:34

I can remember the first major, it's two. There's two really traumatic things because it inspired me in some type of way my mom, after my dad, her second husband, him raping me and all that kind of stuff to me, and it was her from that I'd never seen her in the jail for a while. I'd never seen her.

Speaker 1: 15:59

Did she stay?

Speaker 2: 16:01

with you For a little bit until she got away from me, because I think she was scared as well. Oh, but my mom told me they came to get him. It was like four or five. We had to jump in Because my girl actually went to two streets, four. Well, we stayed with him and his mom and I remember one of us came to get me. We were going, they wanted to come get me, jump on me, and we going to get them.

Speaker 2: 16:25

They wouldn't be letting me down. My mom was working and he would teach me, and so I just never got over it. I never got over it. I never. They would say that my girls were on my mom, her guy, for years. Me. It was a nothing. My mom and I split. I'm not spending money. I can't spend money. I ain't spending the money. I can't spend the money. I ain't spending the money Because I always felt like you didn't even protect me. I better let this happen to my two. Yeah, you didn't protect me and I really. I held it against my mom for a while. Wow, finally that was over.

Speaker 1: 17:00

I know, I remember y'all fighting. I remember y'all had one of the first little guys and that first.

Speaker 2: 17:05

look back to you see that was like a big brawl. That's what I wanted to talk here. I wanted to tell her about how her actions and how she lived her life with me impacted me, and she didn't work up so you never got to have this kind of conversation and I cried about it.

Speaker 2: 17:19

I mean, I don't know it was a bad shoot. I felt bad because I was never able to like hang out, like you sit back and you're not alive. And your people came, they were calling. I never thought about my grandmother. She was a boy, so my mom was giving me all the work she knew to. She wasn't taught. It was a lot of issues, so she didn't really wasn't giving it. It was a lot of her and she was sick. I was with her, so she didn't really wasn't given the tools to speak and I was so hurt that I never got a chance to think about where she was at that time, what was making her, what was going on with her, and I never got a chance to give any conversation because I was so sick, because I wanted to forgive them.

Speaker 1: 19:50

Yeah, I think she had a hard time accepting or taking accountability for things, and I'm saying this from personal experience. She didn't protect Tony Horton while they were doing it, and so I know for a fact that she received information of like times that that happened to Tony and that and she got mad, angry at Tony and and furiated that Tony and screaming at her profusely about what occurred.

Speaker 1: 20:38

And I think I don't think that you would have gotten what you needed, especially if this was like way after that time. That time this was way after. So either at the age of 53, I think she was 53 or 52, they loved Tony. She died of a major body. She read Tony's diary and suffered and she called Tony and screamed at him personally and he cried and all sorts of names. So I know Nick, the people of God, that when he thought he was in God. But it was a great sentence. But, by the way, I remember when I was pregnant.

Speaker 2: 21:15

I heard this because I'm from the people. I was like, bro, I'm not there, I need to talk, I need to talk, we need to talk.

Speaker 1: 21:21

She was like get in my house right. Yep, Get in my house right.

Speaker 2: 21:25

I said Mama, I'm not leaving. That's the link. I think that's where she was. And then, when the video came back, I had to do this time to go she had been by Yep. She had been through so much, she had been through so much. She pushed me downstairs. Remember, she pushed me downstairs.

Speaker 1: 21:37

It was crazy. I felt at that time. I think that you were really wanting to run on that reconciliation because we live right, we lived yeah, we really lived free, and so that was a great time for reconciliation. But again, I think that I think her trauma thrill is the way she delivered here. I think she's one of the demons for a very long time. Now that I'm looking back and thinking of her life choices. When I was with her, she was definitely running for degrees. So let's go into, let's go a little bit further. So we talked about brought up, like when I was born, your childhood, your earliest childhood. You said it was two moments. What was the seventh?

Speaker 2: 22:23

Six Language Out of school in the school stadium. I was in school and none of the students did that job.

Speaker 1: 22:31

My boss said my boy Tony Daniels, how are you going to go?

Speaker 2: 22:37

And I was told by a big boy that Tony Daniels. He gave a lot of movies and stuff. He was a big boss, you know. Whatever, he was a good boy. I was into him. He was seen in the light. My mom was you school, whatever. I used to go to the library. It was him again. He was sitting in the library.

Speaker 2: 22:49

My mom was young, thank you, and I was still in the television and I just broke down. I didn't have a school to walk in. I walked in and got home and my mom was a great hope. That's what her life was, from morning to early. She did this Curve the straw. I'll still go down. It's been long. At Corn House she wanted me, wanted to bring me and they'd be in. And I just looked out and at this point time wasn't that it's happening Same again once she stayed nine months. She was in the road and I just passed the road and I heard my mom being like here she's staying and there's whatever. So I ran in there and I killed that kid once, days of that and I stopped talking. They meet him. They shot me, my mom, my mom, she was like.

Speaker 2: 23:45

I came out and I watched straight after the door and my dad said what the fuck? And I walked straight out the door. My dad said what the fuck? Somehow my mom ended up at the table with some guy and she was desperate, and I don't have to tell anybody because at this point I got scared. I don't think I've done this before. I don't think so either. So I walked up and I'm sitting there like I can't say what's going on. What's going on? So, chicago Heavenlands, they took me to the hospital and they asked me while I was in bed. They asked me what are you trying to do? I said get in that thing. And I was like, I was like kid. And everybody was like what's wrong? What happened? I looked over and found him. I looked out the window. I said that's your mommy, my daughter's body. They didn't see him.

Speaker 2: 24:47

And it was like like this and it's like, yeah, totally, I was like why don't you give me a bed? And I'm thinking back and I'm like I'm sure to hear you. Yeah, I remember that. Wow, I never thought that was she did. It was like I would start in my head, but they put me in and unless I had 12 books, unless I had it went on too, yep, yep.

Speaker 2: 25:21

So, yeah, so I get in there, and they wouldn't let my mom visit me because they do. That was what made me try to get suicidal. They wouldn't let. It was only my dad could come and my grandpa, my mom, couldn't come, tony couldn't come, so they didn't know that. So when my grandmother came and they brought Tony up there to see me, and as I'm coming to the hall, they grabbed me like oh neighbor, what? So? I'm freaking out, I'm throwing chairs now, yeah, I've been living to see my baby.

Speaker 2: 25:59

So, I'm there throwing chairs down the hall. They didn't put me in the room. In the little pen In the room they hit me with the fence and the cork and I calmed down from there. I didn't get to see nobody. I got to see her but I didn't get to talk. That's what kind of freaked me out, because they still had the quietness. So I hit people's chairs.

Speaker 2: 26:19

I'm like no, it's not anything it's real, I don't want to be with this old baby, you know. And after that told my baby you know. And after that they had a little in there for the people that's in there and I had talked to my dad. I was able to talk to my dad on the phone and say what are you doing? I said you know. I told him. He said you're starving, you want a straw? He said fuck them, fuck him. Fuck them, fuck him, fuck her. They said what did he say? He said you stoned me. Ain't no way. He said you don't yell at anybody. I used to own a mom's office. He told me how to get out of there. He said you tell them to leave. You're going to outpace you.

Speaker 1: 27:02

I can't.

Speaker 2: 27:03

There's nobody else but him. And then I'm stuck in there at the crazy house, so it was like you children, so I played my way out the crazy house.

Speaker 1: 27:12

So you were 14 at the time.

Speaker 2: 27:15

Yeah, in Minnesota.

Speaker 1: 27:16

Yeah, from Clinton to Peacestigan, you had somebody who abused, who was abusive to you Right, because, even though he was your boyfriend, you claimed that he was your boyfriend. Who was abusive to you? Right, because, even though he was your boyfriend, you claimed him as your boyfriend. He was abusive.

Speaker 2: 27:33

Almost definitely abusive, basically.

Speaker 1: 27:37

And what's funny is so yesterday, the other day, I talked to my dad my dad and I and we were like going through a time and I had to stop right there because he had his perspective on it and I was like, so let's like to beat you, I had to stop reading Because he had his perspective on it and I was like, so let's like to be 100% to be reading.

Speaker 1: 27:54

And we got all the way into a recent time of how Tony is like Tony, daddy, he has a pattern, and the pattern was mom, daughter and that's literally like his entire life, tony Daddy, yeah, yeah, through his entire life. His entire life always takes me by the side and you're not going to get it.

Speaker 2: 28:15

You don't believe me.

Speaker 1: 28:17

You don't believe me, but he has a vicious being a startling, but it is the starting point of not a starting point, but a catalyst of the trauma that exists in our family and the separation that we had starting with this thing. And it didn't hit me until we went through this lineage and they started oh, he did this and he got this person, he did this to this person and even this person came out. It's not the information I have about it. It's like do you have a picture? Nobody's in the pocket, their clothes are not enough, but I'm like that's what I'm like. It made it very heavy on me yesterday that I was like this man had a catalyst, a catalytic effect on our family dynamic, with whether it's him and drugs, him and his case for kids and having the mother and the daughter dynamic and trying to separate them and keep like all this, and so that's the part of our connection and I wanted to bring it up to you to see what you thought about that. Am I true? Am I right or is?

Speaker 2: 29:35

it. Yeah, I'm a diddle.

Speaker 1: 29:37

Okay, diddle. Yeah, I did Okay.

Speaker 2: 29:39

Yeah, I don't know, and I think he does that because you can't control it, will you?

Speaker 1: 29:44

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 29:46

So he would prefer you get the mom and then you get him to go to the dorm. But it is like using different things and different methods to keep close to the mom, where these things, without her being like she's chasing me, her mom, so she's feeling myself. It's dangerous, no, but it's how we get to those girls. I feel bad because I guess I'm the first one boy where he's old and he's young. I'm feeling myself. I mean, it brought me attention and so it's been a beautiful thing for her, because it sounded the same as coming in and leaving small to be happening All day After, like she, my mom, she was down there.

Speaker 1: 30:38

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 30:39

But instead she didn't know me what now Like why?

Speaker 1: 30:42

Right.

Speaker 2: 30:44

I think she should have somebody. I think it was quite like somebody she was seeing. She I remember Because at that time I was a baby and I remember I was in jail on his name but he never came home. I was in a dress, she had this day but it never came up. A lot I said your ass, jill, you're in. It never came up. It was just a seven-year-old. After she freaked out, she found out I was pregnant. She freaked out and put that on and she was in the doctor's office. She was in the doctor's office so I had to go say to my mom I was like grandmother and it was just, and I guess this morning I was also. I haven't been able to. It's in one laundry helping him that much.

Speaker 1: 31:26

It was Dad mentioned that he was like. He came home and said look how he is. He was like he was sold, that that grandma was his girlfriend and that that, like he thought that the girl was like you and Tony was Grandma's kids and then he found out that was the case, that it was opposite of that. You know he had that reaction. What if he was?

Speaker 2: 32:01

to do every time, but you didn't stop, I didn't.

Speaker 1: 32:07

He said he was 7 years older than me. He said Tony was 7 years older than me. How?

Speaker 2: 32:12

old was Tony.

Speaker 1: 32:16

He said Tony was 7 years older than you, Denzy.

Speaker 2: 32:19

No, it should be as long as it is open, to be About 13 years, well, five years older than me.

Speaker 2: 32:26

So it seems like Denzy. Now I'm 13. So it's five years older than me. Yeah, so what's the reason? You know it's time, but it wouldn't be. It wouldn't have happened. And honestly, on the cool side, they are all your most beautiful people, because I took everything that they made of me and I brought it in my bag and I took it with me to where I'm at. Okay, I know, it's when I see it. It's been that way. I know I've been in a wrong relationship since I was 13 years old. I's when I see it. It's been that way. I've been in a long relationship since I was 13 years old. I know when I see it. So it's now. I don't know. Man, y'all train me, y'all train me, I deal with it.

Speaker 1: 33:15

So that's another episode of the Healing Series. Thank you for joining me. We're going to have more talks like this. I feel like this is a.

Speaker 2: 33:25

I actually spoke away. That ain't special service.

Speaker 1: 33:29

It ain't special service. We're going to definitely have more conversations. I'm glad you are open to have this conversation Spotlight. I can't change it, don't be a bully conversations.

Speaker 2: 33:37

I'm glad you are open to having those conversations.

Speaker 1: 33:39

It's my life. It happened. I can't change it. Don't be a bully. I told my life should be good. I think your life should be good.

Speaker 2: 33:44

When I tell y'all so much, I don't think it's enough episodes, you have to have your own ones. I would love to appear because I think that would be very good for me. I remember when I was unpeeled, just peel and just put away things. And I'm very glad that you have me on here today because y'all got to hear me say y'all, y'all got to hear me y'all got to hear me so we all, with that, we're going to, we're going to end this episode.

Speaker 1: 34:17

If you have not joined our community, make sure you go and join our community Discord. You can join our Patreon community as well. Follow us and share this video on all social media platforms. Come and just show me some love. Communicate with us is there something?

Speaker 1: 34:35

for sure. If you have any questions about my mom's life, go ahead and reach out to us and I'll share. We'll talk about it in our next episode, but this is going to be a series, guys. It's a lot, so we're going to dive into it and we're going to really have a beautiful conversation. So thank y'all for tuning in to 15 minutes with dad. Y'all take care, love to check this out, check this out. Yeah, let's check this out.