5 Ways to Unlock and Activate Your Inner Excellent Dad (U2.0 Series)

What if embracing the chaos of fatherhood could lead to profound inner growth and resilience? Join me, Lirec Williams, in the very first episode of our U2.0 series as we explore this transformative concept. Drawing from personal experiences and the wisdom of pioneers like Abraham Maslow, Carl Jung, and Jim Murphy, we uncover the fundamental pillars of self-awareness, emotional resilience, and a purposeful vision for life and family. Listen as I recount my own journey of reclaiming identity amidst the multifaceted roles we play as fathers, especially when life throws curveballs like divorce. The episode challenges us to tear away the masks we wear and genuinely understand our intrinsic value, sparking true personal transformation from within.

This episode not only explores the essence of fatherhood but inspires action with practical strategies to transform dreams into reality. Inspired by Bruce Lee and Jim Murphy's insights, we delve into creating personal mission statements and setting priorities that align with our core values. You'll discover how tools like vision boards and short-term goals can keep your fatherhood journey on track, ensuring that the values you cherish are passed on to your children. As we conclude, I invite you to continue this path to becoming your best self, promising more insights on emotional resilience in our upcoming episodes. Don't miss the chance to redefine fatherhood and join our community of inspired dads striving for inner excellence.

Chapters

• 0:00 Exploring Fatherhood and Inner Excellence
• 12:34 Vision and Purpose for Fatherhood

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:52

Welcome to the very first episode of the U2.0 series on 15 Minutes with Dad. I'm so excited we're going to take a fresh 360 degree look at fatherhood, personal growth and building resilience, especially for men navigating family life and the challenges of divorce. I'm your host, lyric Williams, and today we're embarking on a journey of transformation by exploring how inner excellence and self-actualization can redefine what it means to be a father. In this episode, I'll introduce the core concepts that formed the foundation of the U2.0 approach. We'll talk about the importance of self-awareness, emotional resilience and crafting a purposeful vision for your life and family. Whether you're thriving or adjusting after a major life change, this series is designed to help you evolve into the best version of yourself. Let's face it Fatherhood is incredibly rewarding, yet it can also be overwhelming. With the pressures of work, relationships and daily life, it's easy to lose sight of who you are beneath all the roles that you play. The U2.0 series is here to help you reclaim your identity and harness the power of self-actualization, a concept introduced by Abraham Maslow, along with practical strategies drawn from Jim Murphy's inner excellence. Today, I'm going to walk you through three essential pillars that will kickstart your journey toward a more balanced and fulfilling life as a father. These aren't abstract ideas. They're actionable steps you can take right now to begin transforming your inner world and, by extension, your family life.

Speaker 1: 2:40

Let's dive in. Before any meaningful change can occur, it's important to understand where you are. You have to reflect on your current state, your strengths, your challenges and the beliefs you hold about yourself as a father your challenges and the beliefs you hold about yourself as a father. Maslow taught us that the self-acceptance is critical for achieving self-actualization. So here are a few practical tips to enhance your self-awareness. You can start by one journaling spending five minutes each day writing down your thoughts and feelings. Focus on moments when you felt proud or struggled and note any patterns that you're noticing. This is something that I do. I do daily check-ins and I set a daily reminder to pause and ask myself how am I really feeling right now? This helps me stay connected with my inner self. And then I have this feedback loop. I consider asking, like a trusted friend or a family member, for honest feedback on how they see me as a father. So let's talk about this Self-awareness and acceptance. I know that a lot of fathers live their life with the idea of value that they have based on what they do for other people. But it's extremely important for us to have a self-awareness of that value. And I'll give an example.

Speaker 1: 4:08

I was in a relationship for about two years, some time ago, and it started off great. I was in a relationship with a friend. I was assuming that everything was fantastic and everything was going well until it wasn't there were times where she would bring up that she's unhappy or something that she didn't like about what I was doing or not doing, and I would hear her and I would try to appease that value. I was there for the kids. I was there for when the kids needed me at any given thing. I was everywhere that I thought that I needed to be and doing everything that I thought that I needed to do in order to make everyone happy.

Speaker 1: 4:48

But there was a point in time in that relationship where I no longer knew the value that I provided that relationship. I no longer knew the value that I provided that relationship, no matter what they said. They could say, oh, we appreciate you, we love you, but I didn't feel it internally and I struggled. Toward the end of that relationship. I fell into this deep depression of trying to really understand what is my value. Who am I to these? Because anytime they got mad, anytime anybody got upset with me, anytime someone got super pissed off, it would be a disrupter for me and I felt like I had no value at that point. And that was because I didn't have self-awareness and whoever I was, I couldn't possibly have acceptance of myself because I didn't know who was I accepting. And so this is a conversation I had with my younger brother earlier, and I mentioned to him that tear away all the labels. Once you tear away all the labels, the things you've done, the accolades that you've gathered, the praises that you've had, you tear all of that away. Who are you? And ask yourself who am I Without all of these things that I have let my life get convoluted with? Who my parents think I am, who my wife thinks I am, who my ex-wife thinks I am, who's my ex-girlfriend, the mother of my children? Who do they think that I am? Tear that away. That doesn't matter. Doesn't matter who they think you are, because this foundation that we're laying does not even begin to actualize until you lay the foundation of self-awareness and once you find out and understand who you are and you spend time in solitude and find out who you are. Then you can accept that person as the person you're going to give to the world.

Speaker 1: 6:42

And in the book Inner Excellence, jim Murphy references the timeless wisdom of Carl Jung. Say that again who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakes. This powerful reminder encourages us to look inward and embrace our true selves and understand that growth that truly begins from within. We can't even begin to talk about being your best self if we don't start with a foundation of who you are. So let's talk about pillar two, which is emotional resilience and inner mastery. Fatherhood is full of ups and downs, and building emotional resilience is key to navigating these challenges. Jim Murphy's inner excellence emphasizes mastering our inner game, managing our emotions, reactions and thoughts to better respond to life rather than simply reacting.

Speaker 1: 7:56

And I can tell you this is something that I personally struggled with, even up until probably maybe a couple months ago. There was times where my emotional state can be disrupted because I either was codependent on a partner in my life or I was dependent upon how they viewed me, my image, my ego, and when anything that they told me or said that I did or said that I made them feel like I would immediately go back to my ego and defend it, and I was negating their feelings. I wasn't even connected to them because I wasn't actually taking in their feelings. I was trying to justify why I did what I did and how I am this ego that I created in my head years ago. But I can give you some helpful tips that I've learned from boosting your emotional resilience.

Speaker 1: 8:57

So I spend a lot of time in my day. I start with just five minutes of mindfulness exercise. I just sit quietly, I focus on my breath and I let my thoughts pass without judgment to set a calm tone for my day. And sometimes I have to do this multiple times a day. But just and I have this on my vision board literally I spend time in absolute silence and just breathing and thinking and processing those thoughts and just letting them go, without caring about what it, how it makes me feel. That's a, that's a journey, that's something that I think we'll have to work on. But again, remember, this is the foundational part of everything you're going to learn on mastering your inner excellence and becoming your best self, your best father.

Speaker 1: 9:51

The second thing I would say is there are times when I feel overwhelmed or I feel triggered, and I have to control those moments by taking a deep breath, counting the 10. I teach this to my toddler. Even right now. I've been teaching, working with him on emotional regulation, and I it really didn't help him, it did like it. His journey through toddlerhood was a long one until I started focusing on teaching him how to regulate his emotions and use words, and so what I do is I take a deep breath and I count to 10 before responding, and if you get that text message that sets you off, that pisses you off, take 10 seconds, take a deep breath, 10 seconds before responding. Take a deep breath, 10 seconds before responding. This pause can help you prevent reactive civilization.

Speaker 1: 11:04

We don't, we're not taught to navigate emotions as a kid, and if you spend your adulthood reacting to emotions and thinking that that is emotional mastery, because you're just reacting to emotions and you're saying I'm pissed off at you, let's fight, or whatever that may be, you're not really mastering the resilience, you're not really being resilient emotionally. And so I would urge you to pause and reflect, spend some time, take, you know, in quiet and in solitude, and then also incorporate short bursts of activity, like a brisk walk, some stretching to clear your mind and release tension, like I have to do this at my job. My job is very, very intense. Not intense because of what I do for work, but more so it's intense because of the level of high performance that I've set myself at. Since you know where I'm in my, in my career, and I have, I put a lot of pressure on myself and a lot of tension on myself, and so I have to go and take a walk. Sometimes I take a mile walk before coming back in to get my thoughts right. But it helps me put my thoughts in the right places, put my emotions in the right places, and so I can come back and respond to something, or even if I don't have to respond to something, but at least checking in with myself in a way. That is the way that I want to portray that, and so I want to.

Speaker 1: 12:34

Before we get on to our next pillar. I want to leave you. I want to give you a quick inspirational statement that Bruce Lee famously said. He said do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. This quote reminds us that true resilience is built by facing challenges head on and strengthening your inner core. So let's go on to the third pillar Vision and purpose for fatherhood, and I think this is a thing that probably a lot of men pass up on. That is a valuable thing, and, like there's things that people do for their career, there's things that people and they do the exact same thing for a business. They create mission statements and vision statements for their career and their life and what they want to do professionally. But having a clear vision for what you want to achieve as a father acts as a roadmap for your journey.

Speaker 1: 13:56

Ask yourself, what does being an excellent father mean to you? Is it about being fully present, fostering an environment of trust and growth, or redefining your role after divorce? Let's start by something that this is something that I've done, so I've written a mission statement and you have to dedicate time to write down your top three priorities as a father. What values do you want to pass on to your children? This mission statement will guide your daily actions. For my family, my mission is to teach integrity is to teach love, to teach from love and to teach teachers. The second thing is create a visual reminder, create a vision board or place sticky notes in your workplace with key phrases that encapsulate your goals and values as a father.

Speaker 1: 14:50

And this may seem crazy, but we do it for everything else, right, you do it for everything else. You do it to be better at your job, to get your mind in the right place for an interview, to get your mind in the right place for closing a deal. We do this for all of that, but why not your fatherhood too? But even as such, I'm going to take it even a step further. Set short-term goals, bring your larger vision into manageable steps. For example, if quality time is a priority schedule, a weekly daddy date with your kids to strengthen that connection, I can tell you daddy, daddy daughter dates, daddy, son dates is is really done a lot. It looks different for both of them, but like it's done a lot for my family in allowing us to build connections and get to know each other for real. For real, like on a deeper level. These kids talk, they will talk, they will give you everything that you need to know that they are lacking or that they are looking to be better at, that they are lacking or that they are looking to be better at. And it makes fatherhood a lot easier when you spend time, uninterrupted time, with your kids. That is based out of the vision that you have for your kids.

Speaker 1: 16:12

So I'm going to refer back to Jim Murphy's Inner Excellence, because it's a great book. It reinforces the power of clarity when he references Tony Robbins, who said setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. Say that again Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into visible. This insight underlines that a clear vision for fatherhood transforms abstract dreams into actionable steps guiding us every single day. So, before we close on today's episodes, let's quickly recap the actionable tips we discussed.

Speaker 1: 16:50

For self-awareness, which is the first pillar, you could begin a daily journal, set reminders to check in with your feelings and seek honest feedback from someone you trust. The second one for emotional, emotional, for emotional resilience, implement a morning mindfulness routine. It could be five minutes, could be 10 minutes, but practice pausing in emotionally charged moments and incorporate regular physical activity moments and incorporate regular physical activity. Walk a mile or walk half a mile, quarter mile, whatever that may be, just incorporate regular physical activity. The third pillar was for vision and purpose. You can write your personal mission statement, use visual cues to remind you of your goals, like sticky notes or a vision board, and break your vision into short-term, manageable objectives. These simple steps, yet powerful steps, form the foundation for your transformation journey toward you 2.0.

Speaker 1: 17:48

That wraps up our first episode of the U2.0 series. Today, we laid the groundwork by exploring three essential pillars self-awareness and acceptance, emotional resilience and inner mastery. And vision and purpose for fatherhood. Remember, transformation doesn't happen overnight. It's built on small, consistent steps toward becoming the best version of yourself. Next week, we'll explore practical strategies to further boost your emotional resilience, sharing more real life examples and exercises you can start using immediately. Thank you for joining me on this journey toward empowered fatherhood. Don't forget to subscribe to 15 minutes with dad on your favorite podcast platform and follow us on social media at 15 minutes with dad for regular updates and inspiration. Until next time, remember the journey to youtube0 starts from within. Stay true, stay resilient and keep pushing forward.