Mastering the Art of Co-Parenting: Fostering a Positive Environment for Growth (Final Episode)

Join us on 15 Minutes with Dad as we conclude our enlightening series, "7 Key Steps to Child-Centered Co-Parenting," with the promise of equipping you with strategies to nurture your child’s emotional well-being while enhancing your co-parenting dynamics. Discover how open communication, validation, and positive reinforcement play a pivotal role in encouraging emotional growth in children. As I share my personal journey of parenting a teenager, you'll learn practical insights into creating a safe space for kids to express themselves, make mistakes, and learn valuable lessons. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to reimagine parenting through the lens of empathy and understanding.

Explore the transformative power of modeling positive behavior and learn why your actions speak louder than words. By showcasing respect, patience, and resilience, you can significantly influence your child's behavior and self-esteem. Celebrate their achievements, however small, and witness how positive attention can guide them toward constructive habits. As a father who has faced the challenges of teenage parenting, I offer practical tips to foster a nurturing environment that supports your child's emotional development. Don’t miss this final chapter, rich with insights and personal reflections, designed to help you become a more intentional and supportive co-parent.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:48

Hey yo, welcome back to 15 Minutes with Dad. I'm your host, lyric Williams, and today marks the final episode of our series Seven Key Steps to Child-Centered Co-Parenting. Over the past few weeks, we've unpacked tools, strategies and stories to help co-parents create a positive and supportive environment for their children. From our closing conversation, we're focusing on two powerful pillars encouraging emotional growth and development in your children and creating a truly supportive co-parenting relationship. Let's dive in.

Speaker 1: 1:25

As co-parents, one of our greatest responsibilities is nurturing our children's emotional well-being. This doesn't happen by accident. It takes intentionality. Here's how you can encourage your children's emotional growth and development. The first thing you can do is open communication with your children. Kids need to know that they can come to you about anything the good, the bad and the messy. Keep those lines of communication open by asking thoughtful questions like how did that make you feel, or what do you think we can do about this or that? When they speak, listen without judgment or interruption. Validate their feelings by saying things like I understand why you would feel that way. This builds trust and lets them know that they are safe to express themselves.

Speaker 1: 2:13

This is a challenge that I face, being a father to a teenager. It's really hard when they start thinking for themselves and having this abstract thought around 11 or 12. When they get into a teenager, they start being confident in how they think and everything seems as if they are challenging. What it is that you're saying, but the reality is, is that they're trying to prove to you that they do know that they can do and they will make mistakes. But you have to give them the opportunity to make mistakes and redeem themselves in the midst of it. And so being a person that validates their feelings in those moments. I know we're people talking about gentle parenting and et cetera, et cetera, but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about treating your children as if they are human beings, by validating their feelings, because you would want someone to validate your feelings as well. Whether you're a guy or a girl, you would want your feelings to be validated or non-binary. I know this is the day and age, that there's all these different things, but when it comes to a person, no matter who you are, you need and seek to feel that your feelings are validated in the midst of the world. And so when you're asking your kid an open-ended question, let them talk and don't put your judgment based on what they say. You're going to feel how you feel. You're going to think that's stupid. Don't do that. But don't say that. Validate their feelings. Okay, I see where you were going with that. Here's another version of how you could have attacked that and let me know if that kind of gives you the outcome that you're looking for. But making it an open dialogue.

Speaker 1: 3:52

And the second one that you can do to encourage your children's emotional growth and development is by creating positive reinforcement. Celebrate the small wins. When your child shares a kind gesture, aces a test or even just shows resilience. Let them know that you notice A simple I'm proud of how hard you worked on that can make a huge impact. Positive reinforcement not only boosts their self-esteem but also encourages them to keep those good habits. And I know that as fathers, we tend to look at how can we make things better and sometimes we tend to overpower, overbear on our children to make them make things better. And they're going to make mistakes and they may be afraid to tell you, they may be afraid for you to know, but when you praise the good things, they tend to lean more towards the good things because that gives them the attention. By giving them only negative attention. They still seek that attention because it's attention nonetheless. So the third thing that you can do to encourage your children's emotional growth and development is by modeling positive behavior. You ever heard of that. Don't do what I tell you to do. Do what I, or don't do what you see me do. Do what I tell you to do. That doesn't work in real life. So, modeling positive behavior. Your children learn by watching and not just listening. Visual impact is probably more impactful than auditory impact, so show them what respect, patience and resilience look like in real time. This includes managing disagreements with your co-parent in healthy ways. Instead of raising your voice, take a pause, listen and respond thoughtfully. Your kids are always watching, like mike. What guy? Who's white? What is it? Mike wazowski, there am I always watching, if you have. If you uh are not a pixar fan or uh watch monsters inc? Um, tune in lock in uh. They'll mimic what they see in their relationships later in life. It's important that you model that because when, if you think about when you look, when you model yourself as an adult now, you look at how your parents were and what worked for them, and then you start to be, even though you probably went on this whole little tangent in life, but you tend to end up how your parents ended up, because that is this familiar stability that exists in your life. Even if it's an unstable, it's a form of stability and identity for you. Let's move on to the next segment of this here podcast episode. We're going to talk about creating a supportive co-parenting relationship. A strong co-parenting relationship is the foundation of a stable environment for your children. While challenges are inevitable, these practices can help you navigate them together as a team. The first is creating a space of mutual respect. At the core of every successful co-parenting relationship is respect. Speak kindly about each other in front of your children and to others. Even when you disagree, maintain a tone of respect. Your kids should never feel caught in the middle or like they need to choose sides. When you model respect, you're teaching your kids how to treat others and handle conflict at the same time. The second is you want to build consistency as much as possible across your households. Kids thrive on stability when both households have consistent rules, routines and expectations. It removes the guesswork for your children and helps them feel secure. For example, agree on bedtime routines, discipline strategies and even homework schedules. Communication is key here. Regular check-ins with your co-parent can ensure you're both on the same page. That stability provides consistency for your children. And the last one is involvement in school and extracurricular activities. It's important that both parents are engaged in this atmosphere. Your children need to see that both are invested in their life. Both parents should attend school events, parent-teacher conference and extracurricular activities whenever possible. Even if you can't both be there at the same time, showing up matters, it sends a clear message to your child. Both of your parents care deeply about your interest and growth and when schedules don't align, keep each other informed so your child knows you're both rooting for them. So, for instance, there was a time earlier on in my daughter's life where she wasn't making it to school, like her mom was not taking her to school for whatever reason. It was a mile away and she just did not take her to school that day. And so it got to a point where there was a truancy meeting that had to be had between the parents and the school, and although my daughter lived with her mom at the time, I pulled up to the meeting and it happened, I think, two times in her time with her mom. But I showed up to those events, even though I didn't feel responsible for my daughter not going to school because she lives with her mom a mile away from the school. I'm thinking that she would bring her to school because it's easier for her to get there, but it doesn't matter why, it just mattered that I was there in that moment. I had a strong relationship with the principal and the teacher, so when anytime Mariah got in trouble or anything at school, they would reach out to me and I will pull up, and usually she didn't want that, but I will pull up any, no matter whose household she's living in. I would drive across town 45 minutes to get to to pull up at a school, even on a work day, and so that being showing up no matter what is very important, not just on the bad times but also on the good times, whenever they're in events. I made sure that, even if there was a moment that I couldn't show up, I had a friend show up and I still do that. Right today. I have whoever's in my village. I've asked someone to show up in my place and catch videos for me so that she knows that I am still there and I'm getting information for her, and it still works, even with her as a teenager at a basketball games. So let's bring this whole episode together, this whole. You know key strategies for co-parenting. Let's bring this all together Because when co-parents work together to create a supportive and emotional enriching environment, the impact on children is profound. They feel seen, heard and supported, and that builds their confidence to face the world. One of the most important lessons I've learned is that co-parenting isn't about being perfect. It's about being present and intentional. It's about putting your children's needs above your personal differences and committing to growth both for them and for yourselves. As we wrap up this series, I want to leave you with this Co-parenting is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate the progress you've made, keep refining your approach and always lead with love and respect. If this series have resonated with you, share it with a friend or a fellow co-parent. Let's spread the word about creating healthy, child-centered co-parenting relationships. And if you haven't already, pick up a copy of my book Manna From Our Trauma to being Impactful Fathers, available on Amazon or you can visit 15minswithdadcom forward slash co-parent to get more tips and strategies. It's full of tools and insights to help fathers navigate challenges and build stronger relationships with their kids. Lastly, if this podcast has helped you, please leave a rating and review. Your support helps us reach more listeners who need this kind of guidance. Thank you for joining me on this co-parenting journey. This has been 15 Minutes with Dad. I'm Lyric. Remember. Every small step you take matters. Stay intentional, stay present and keep building the future your children deserve. See you next time.